2022…
What a year it was. It was the beginning of a new me. An introduction, of sorts. The end of 2021 brought much unexpected change. Gone was the career I had pursued since I was 15 years old. After making a decision that I thought was best for my long-term health, I faced the consequences that involved a forced resignation and a mandatory move from housing that was tied to my employment.
I needed a new focus that utilized my skills and could tame my overly active mind. Enter a new opportunity to start a business in a completely foreign field. Eyewear? I had a couple of pairs of prescription reading glasses and some sunglasses, but I knew nothing about frames and lenses. I researched all I could about frame manufacturing, starting an online business, taking product photos, building a social media following, and much more. I spent countless hours creating the small, independent, online glasses shop now known as SPEX Eyewear Inc.
Being new in my town, I decided to join the Chamber of Commerce to network and grow my community. I attended a few of the mixers and was encouraged to apply to be an ambassador, so I did. But shortly after acceptance, my life let me know that the changes weren’t yet complete.
Going back a little, Freddie entered my life in March 2021. Since the “fifteen days to stop the spread” lockdown began in March 2020, my job had been entirely online, so I started volunteering at my local animal shelter to get out of the house a bit. Every Saturday, I walked dogs for two to three hours. As emotionally exhausting as it was, it was always the highlight of my week.
As months passed, I fell in love with every dog I worked with, but one little soul truly captured my heart. He was playing in the puppy area of the shelter with another volunteer, and I was smitten. Thankfully, my husband was also volunteering that day. With the help of a shelter employee who asked me to hold the puppy while he cleaned the kennel, I used every ounce of charm to convince Sid to say yes to adding this boy to our family of four felines.
After five anxious days of worrying about this boy while he completed his mandatory stray hold, we gleefully welcomed all nine pounds of him into our family. At only a couple of months old, the pup we named Frederick Maximus thoroughly enjoyed cuddling, running after his evergrowing trove of toys, and playfully chasing his feline siblings, hoping to catch a big sniff or possibly a loving head bump.
He quickly learned sit, down, crate, come, spin, paw, and more. Freddie displayed an impressive level of intelligence, attentiveness, and strong opinions, and we formed a powerful bond.
Getting back to the changes, Freddie started showing some signs of things being off about a year after his adoption. In the spring of 2022, while I was launching SPEX, Sid and I noticed Freddie’s back legs sagging when he stood. This progressed to some wobbling while walking—it kind of looked like his front and back ends were controlled by two separate brains.
We took Freddie to one vet who said to watch him and return if things got worse. Not happy with this advice, we took Fred to another vet. This one seemed more concerned and suggested we take Freddie to a neurologist. On the recommendation of yet another vet (who currently treats all of our fur babies), we traveled three hours north to the nearest veterinary neurologist. Freddie endured an MRI, spinal tap, and muscle biopsy while I drank a couple of glasses of sparkling stress reliever over the five hours I was away from Freddie.
The muscle biopsy result indicated a diagnosis of a super-rare condition called Mitochondrial Myopathy. There is no cure, and the disease is progressive. These are the phrases one never wants to hear.
In less than one year, Freddie went from wobbly to really wobbly, from requiring our help to walk to completely losing any ability to walk. My playful squirrel-chasing pup and everything else in my life had changed. Freddie was also diagnosed with Megaesophagus, which requires that he be fed three times a day in a specially designed chair that holds him upright while he eats and digests.
February 21, 2023, was the last time Freddie was left home alone. I was still trying to hold onto my former self by teaching a one-hour class to adults at a local dance studio. As I had done many times before, I left Freddie in his bed and set out. About an hour and twenty minutes later, I returned to my sweet, shaky boy and promised to never, ever leave him alone again. He had dragged himself five feet across our floor and left a trail of poo behind him.
Typing this now, I feel like a horrible dog parent. But, up until that point, we had still left Fred at home, as most dog parents do. But this is when I realized Freddie could no longer be seen as a dog. He’s a tremendously unique soul who needs 24/7 care. And, for some reason, I’m the one who is meant to provide that care. I’ve missed weddings and funerals and have turned down multiple opportunities to network or make a new community of friends. Sid and I haven’t been out on a date night alone since July 2022. Whenever I meet someone new, I struggle with explaining that I’m a full-time caretaker for a dog. The response is often one of uncertainty since I’m relatively sure that my circumstances are pretty uncommon.
While the me who cares about what others think still wrestles with my daily life, I am incredibly thankful for the means to care for Freddie. I may be a one-of-one—a former full-time academic who is now a full-time “domestic engineer.” I truly enjoy supporting my husband in his career ambitions, looking after our brood of animals, and especially caring for Freddie.
A typical day
- Wake up between 4 and 4:40 am: George, our youngest cat, has decided that this is the time I should get up to give him breakfast. So, he’ll leap between Sid and me until I get up to meet his request. This is my solo time to complete my morning chores before Sid and the dogs rise. Besides chores, this is also a great time for getting a little writing or reading in.
- Between 6:30 and 7 am: Get Freddie and our other pup, Abhi, up and out of bed. Abhi is easy–he happily runs outside to do his business and then wants to chase his favorite toy for a bit. Freddie requires more and needs to be carried outside and assisted through morning waste relief. Sometimes, this includes extra relief through manual expression if he struggles to get everything out outside.
- The rest of the morning: Morning walk with Abhi and Freddie in his stroller, aka Freddie’s Limo. We go between one and two and a half miles, or sometimes we’ll sit at a local coffee shop to work on Abhi’s place skills. Once we get home, Abhi wants to chase some more toys so after another fifteen minutes or so of play, we work on getting Fred inside. The jostling of the stroller usually causes Fred to do some extra business in his diaper so I use some wipes to freshen him up, wrap him in a new diaper, and place him in his usual spot on our couch before breakfast.
- Meals: Freddie gets fed three times a day. Because his tummy is very sensitive, he gets a homemade mix of ground beef, rice, and veggies. His health requires multiple supplements and a vitamin powder mixed into his food. Each meal takes five to ten minutes to prepare via weighing and mixing. I then grab a baby bib and silicone spoon and make my way to the couch to prep for feeding. Freddie is placed in his Bailey Chair, and I begin feeding him one small bite at a time. Once he eats everything, he must remain in the chair for another 25 minutes while his food completes its journey down his esophagus and into his stomach. Sometimes, he sleeps, and sometimes, I give him a foot rub, but I’m always in the same room to watch if he has breathing problems. All-in-all, this entire process takes about 45 minutes.
- Between meals: The hours between breakfast and lunch and lunch and dinner are when I can do some laundry, vacuum the never-ending fur, and do other house managing work. This is also the time I have to run my business. Did you forget about my business, too? Yeah, it’s taken a bit of a back seat to caretaking, but I’m determined to provide stellar service whenever someone kindly orders. This is also the time I devote to enrichment with Abhi and Freddie. We do this through training with treats, snuffle mats, and time outside in the grass. I also work Freddie’s body through a series of range of motion activities like hip and shoulder joint circles, leg presses, and balancing on his front paws while I hold up the rest of his 22 pounds. I know my body must remain strong to care for Fred, so I also ensure I get twenty minutes or so of workout time.
- Afternoon walk: When it’s not 100+ degrees, Freddie, Abhi, and I go for a second walk to help Freddie get some outside sniffs, and Abhi gets out a little more energy. It’s also nice for me to get some fresh air again!
- Evening routine: This consists of feeding our cats, Abhi and Freddie. Then, finally, Sid and I. We sit for about 30 minutes and catch up on the latest Great British Baking Show episode or something else that’s easy to watch, and then it’s time to start wrapping up our day. Getting everyone in the house ready for bed takes about an hour and a half to two hours. That seems impossible, but it’s true. I aim to be in bed by 10 pm, so I get some rest before George begins our next day.
Because of Freddie and my phenomenal husband, my life is vastly different now than it was in 2021. I started this blog as an outlet. As a teacher, I spoke and listened a lot. Now, there are days when I don’t talk to or hear from another human for most of the day. I’ve prayed to find others who have a dog with Freddie’s condition and haven’t yet. So, I hope that sharing my story will help others who have experienced an unexpected shift in life to find a friendly support system.
If any of this resonates with you, please comment or share it on social media or with your friends. Freddie and I thank you.
10 responses to “An introduction to My Freddie Life”
Oh honey, this moved me to tears. I had no idea. Sending so much love to our Freddie❤️
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Christy, this was so beautifully written, your babies are so lucky to have parents like you and Sid. You have my utmost admiration, God chose you has parents, because he knew, that Freddie would be loved and taken care of by you, as your other babies too. Love ypu both.🙏🏼❤️
Thank you so much for your comment and for reading! I so appreciate how much you love Freddie, and I know he does too…though he doesn’t show it!! 🤣
Christy,
This is beautiful! I am so happy you have created this space as an outlet, but also to share with others. I hope your blog is seen by many who can emphasize as animal parents and how much they become family.
We never had experiences as intense as what you and Sid are enduring with Freddy, but I can relate on many levels with memories of Missy’s last months with us, trying to figure out management and etiology of her seizures – Gran Mal, and SO scary to witness. It was enemas I had to insert up her as she was thrashing during seizing, me outside crying for her body to calm down, and me self talking courage outloud as I tried to recall what my Veterinary BFF had instructed me to do.
The housebound part and loss of social freedom resonates with me as a mother who had moved away from a community of friends and familiarity when Zeb was 7 months, to a foreign state and no community.
Grant and I had to get creative with date nights as trusting a stranger to watch our child for a frivolous night out was not an option he or I were comfortable with at the time — enter date nights in! We cooked fabulous gourmet meals, I set a Michelin star tabelscape, we paired a beautiful wine, chose our soundtrack for the evening and dined by candlelight after the kiddo was down for the night.
Life throws us unexpected twists and “here, handle this!” Moments. Sounds like you and Sid are doing a MARVELOUS job!
Sending a lot of love from Portland, and I will look forward to following the adventures of Freddy and company.
Love to you both,
– Nance
Thank you for sharing, Nancy! You’ve always been such a creative and positive spirit that I’m not surprised to hear that you made the absolute most of the difficulties surrounding moving to a new community. Great job! As for Missy, it’s heartbreaking to know that her last moments with you were so challenging. It sounds like you did your absolute best to give peace and comfort to our sweet Missy. Please say hello to Grant for me!
I always wondered what made you leave a career in dancing to sell Eyewear! Now I know. What amazing love you have. I think of you often and always enjoy seeing your family even though it’s infrequently. We miss you. We Celebrate Randall’s birthday and Christmas this year in SLO which forever will remind me of our visit with you and Sid. God bless you sweetheart.
It’s wonderful to hear from you!! Sid and I so enjoyed our time with you and Randall that day in Pismo! Safe and enjoyable travels and time to and from SLO to you both. We miss seeing you and the rest of the family as well.
Hi Christy! You and your fur babies have had a really rough go of it. Sending you all the love, and let us know if you ever teach a dance class via Zoom or anything!
Hello! Thank you so much for your comment! I’ll be sure to let you know if I end up teaching again but I think that time is complete. I sure miss Saturday morning classes at Westlake, though!